Heart break

Here I am finally able to start this personal blog. I need to express how I feel about having a teenage son with pretty severe autism. We have been through a lot. Things haven't gotten better over the years like some of my friends kids have. No communication, Sib's, not to mention pinches, bites and an occasional hair pull. But that isn't why I am here. I am here because it is very heart breaking to me to know my child is in pain or hurting and he can't point to where or tell me anything so that I can help him. that is got to be the worst feeling ever. He has a few medical conditions that we are not having a lot of success treating. I don't know who is right or what to believe anymore. I am not very trusting when it comes to doctors. They really don't know much when it comes to autism. I wish my son was one of those recovery stories or even close to that. I can't take him to the mall, or the market. medications make him worse. we did so much biomedical stuff for years which would help a bit but then i couldn't afford to continue or I just couldn't do it anymore.
It's been a year now since he started living at his school. Of course my life has changed in major way but I worry so much about him and for those taking care of him. I think he is misunderstood even though he lives in a home with other kids with similar problems. i know he is suffering inside and i cannot give up trying to figure out what is going on. Once in a while I do figure something out and it's a great feeling. So I keep reading and researching, keep making gluten/casein/soy/citrus free foods. Never Give up. How could a mother give up?